Day 161

Spoiler Alert! May contain planning-stage plot/character details or other spoilers!

15 Feb 2017

So baby made it and all is well and it’s been super distracting even though I really haven’t actually needed to do much of anything, lol. It’s pretty amazing to experience newborns up close and personal; it’s like they’re an idea, a concept, a cartoon, and then you’re just blown over by how much detail, how much realness they have. Like, fingernails. Fingers in general. They’re amazing! How is it possible for them to come in that size? And it breathes and moves on its own. Shocking.

Lol. So yeah, it’s been cool and crazy and overwhelming and underwhelming and everything at once and I’ve been trying to figure out where I fit in all of it. I’m a little stressed about writing and now having a child in the family. It’s one thing to get past your image and impact on other adults, but wondering how my words could impact a child (who knows me!) is another thing entirely. It’s making me do some soul-searching over my depiction of male characters and my handling of ethnicity for sure. But on the other hand, despite whatever pretensions to culture and maturity I might have, it is teen/YA fantasy romancy stuff, and that comes with a whole set of norms…

At this stage, I think I need to press forward and try not to get too caught up in reworking things - especially in indie publishing, though it probably stands true for traditional publishing as well, the need to continue publishing new material has to impact how much you polish each piece. On the other hand… yeah, quality is not a small issue.

In sum, feeling kinda stuck and unmotivated, while at the same time feeling more pressure than ever to succeed. So there’s that. And it’s rainy and grey out, which is actually great writing weather, but doesn’t help me feel driven and like getting on with things. Think I’m gonna pour a glass of wine and try to hunker down and produce for a bit, and then worry about whatever else afterwards!


Start Time: 2:30 pm

Location: Abbotsford; home; couch

Drinking: Malbec

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