In typical diva fashion, having anyone else around or anything else to do is proving a major distraction. Thus proving what I want and what I want rarely cohere into a single want at any given time.
I want to be a lazy consumer that splits time between sleeping and imbibing various media.
I want to be fit and social, rocking the stage and investing in relationship.
I want to be disciplined and successful, a hard worker that never quits.
I want to learn, practice and perform music.
I want to be a great (and successful!) writer, focused and productive, creative and artistic all at once.
So my list of “I wants” is crippling me from ever achieving any of these goals.
Funny thing is, I’m not actually good at identifying and expressing what I want. I’m a little better at figuring out what I absolutely need to do to survive and getting that taken care of.
Writing Cole’s personality takes a cue from that. (Spoiler) She’s been shut down as an individual, and so she isn’t able to access ‘wants’.
This is trademark Tower; programming people to be safe by erasing themselves, but it rarely works as completely as it did on Cole. She’s a model Tower worker. Except she’s not.
Cadence survived, and Cadence carries all the personality, wants and desires that Cole lost, and she’s there to bug Cole about them. Constantly.
Which is a start, but eventually Cole is going to have to learn to dream on her own.
Start Time: 10:30 am
Drinking: Earl Gray