Coming up to the end of the third week of being free (unemployed…) and it’s about time for the vacation to end. If I can’t start producing next week, I need to start hunting for a ‘real’ job.
Scared by all possibilities; pursuing my dreams (is this even my dream? Do I have dreams? Ironic, considering the topic of this novel), going back to the grind and discrimination of the corporate world, scraping by with part time, starting my own ventures, moving back home… still too much out there.
Which means break it down and do small, short things. Like making it out to a coffee shop to write for an hour or two. Or rather, strategize plot. Not sure when the last time I actually wrote was. Not sure if I can bring any skill to it, or if it will all remain pathetically awkward and juvenile.
While the fame and fortune (mostly fortune) of being the next Stephenie Meyer is appealing, my pride needs to produce at a higher level of skill. But fear isn’t worth putting this off for any longer. I’ve been running long enough, and I don’t think I need to wait until I’m 50 to create.
Although I could be wrong; I certainly thought I was ready at 20, and that didn’t go anywhere at all… I’ll probably cave to the pressure to succeed based on what I think everyone else cares about. But until I can’t take it anymore, I’m gonna keep playing novelist.
Went through a stack of kids and YA fiction this week and wrote down all agents and editors listed in the acknowledgements and author’s notes sections. Wonder how much I have to have together before I can/should start chasing down the business side of this venture? Clearly more than I have now, but it’d be nice to know if I needed to be prepared for months to years without knowing…
Start time: 11:30 am
Location: Oldhand Coffee Shop
Drinking: Macchiato (+Skolbrod)
Soundtrack: Can’t tell; it’s almost lunch time and the shop is packed. Buzz is better than a quiet room with limited conversation…